Green or Blue?
by oneship
Summary: Assuming Beverly and Jean-Luc are in a stable romantic relationship while serving on the D will give you enough background context to (hopefully) enjoy this introspective fic. COMPLETE.


The blinking green light on the tricorder flittered into her thoughts throughout the day. The result wasn't entirely unexpected, but she hadn't anticipated the profound effect it would have on her routine.

She found herself slipping into a habit she hadn't indulged in in almost thirty years; she talked to the unborn foetus in her womb.

 _Hey you,_ she thought, _how's it going in there?_

She smiled to herself as she left her office to begin her daily rounds. As the doors swished closed behind her, the blinking green light firmly took up residence in her mind.

 _Shall we see what's on the agenda for today?_ Beverly nodded to her deputy as she moved into the main examination area. As she moved toward the only occupied bed, Dr. Selar delivered her report in a clear, concise manner.

"Don't worry," Beverly said to the young ensign, whose leg was ensconced in an osteo-regenerator, "you'll be up and running again in no time."

"Thanks, Doctor," the ensign replied sheepishly.

 _What will your first steps be like – tottering or assertive?_ , she thought as she made a brief entry on the PADD. Smiling widely, she added, _I hope your papa is there when you take them._

 _Papa. Daddy. Dad. Father. Maman. Mommy. Mom. Mother. Who will we be to you? You're such a blessing – you haven't even arrived yet and you mean the universe to us_.

Beverly continued to muse about how she would tell Jean-Luc the news as she walked into her research lab. She decided she would tell him over lunch. While neither would be officially off-duty, at least it would be an informal setting and she wouldn't have to keep it a secret until the end of her shift.

 _Your father will be thrilled_ , she thought.

Absently rubbing the tension from her neck as she reviewed the data on her monitor, she tried to puzzle out why the experiment wasn't proceeding as it should. She hadn't expected any overt signs of mutation in the moss, but she knew the DNA scans should have picked up something. She began to feel as though the cursor on the screen was mocking her.

Frustrated at the inanity of staring at the blinking dot and hoping it would somehow magically change the results on the screen, she switched the monitor off, pushed herself away from the counter, and tilted her chair so she could stare at the ceiling.

 _Green or blue?_ she wondered. A slow smile spread across her features as she asked, _So what will it be? Are your eyes blue or hazel? Will they be studious like his, or mischievous like mine? Will you be able to hide your emotions behind them, or will they be a window into your soul?_

Beverly started at the soft cough coming from the entrance to the lab. She turned to see her head nurse smiling and leaning on the doorframe.

"Alyssa?" she asked.

"You asked to be reminded about your lunch break if you lost track of time," said Nurse Ogawa as she smiled at her boss.

"Yes," she replied, "thank you." Beverly stood and reflexively smoothed her uniform before tucking her hair back in place. The two women were just entering the main area when Beverly's communicator chirped.

"Riker to Sickbay."

 _Uh oh, here comes trouble,_ she thought.

"Crusher here," she replied.

"There's been an incident on the planet. The captain is trying to negotiate a settlement, but there have been heavy casualties in the capital and they want our help," Riker said. "Be prepared to receive them in fifteen minutes."

"Understood. We'll turn cargo bay three into a triage centre," she replied. "Have the transporter crews beam all casualties there, Crusher out."

Turning to Ogawa and Selar she said, "You heard the Commander. Get your emergency teams ready." Striding out the door she called back over her shoulder, "I'll be in the cargo bay helping with the set-up of the emergency operating theatres."

 _Don't worry_ , she thought worriedly as she sped through the corridors, _I'm sure your daddy's fine. He's going to set things to rights on the planet, and we're going to patch people up as quickly and as painlessly as possible._

Nine minutes later, Beverly was staring at her entire medical staff plus all the available crew and civilians with first aid training. There was an air of grim determination throughout the cargo bay as everyone steeled themselves for the hours to come.

 _It takes a lot of courage to be strong in the face of pain and despair_ , she thought. _We need to help them be strong. Can you be strong for me?_

"The next several hours will not be easy. Hell, they may be the toughest ones you've ever lived through," she was honest as she addressed her command. "But remember, we _are_ saving lives today. What each of you does today _will_ matter. Do not let yourself become overwhelmed by the chaos around you. Take things one patient at a time. It's all you can do, and it's what they need you to do.

"You are the finest doctors, nurses, medics, and personnel in the Fleet. There's a reason we get all the tough calls," Beverly paused as she started to see apprehension shift into pride in the eyes of her crew. "We get them because we can handle them. We're tough and we're the best. An entire city is relying on us. Let's show them what the crew of the _Enterprise_ can do!"

She smiled as she thought, _We'll always be proud of you too. Always._

The echoes from the cry of, "Yes, sir!" hadn't even died when the whine of the transporters filled the air. Within seconds, the still cargo bay exploded into orchestrated chaos underscored with the cries and moans of the wounded.

She lost all sense of time. Whether days, weeks, or hours had passed, she neither knew nor cared. All that mattered was the patient on the table in front of her. The nurse at her side recited the pertinent details of the trauma as though they were items on a supply list. She picked up the laser scalpel and began another battle to keep life in a body almost too battered to hold it.

She willed her patient to hold on as their life drained away through a myriad of cuts, burns, haemorrhages, and contusions. She repaired the damage to her patient's internal organs as quickly as each shut down.

She fought to restore life to a mangled piece of meat. She fought and she won. She fought the same battle over and over again, for as soon as one patient was removed from the table another appeared.

 _I'm so glad you can't see this_ , she thought. _You're safe. You're safe._

'You're safe' became her mantra as she cut her way through the carnage. The thought of her unborn child floating safely tethered in her womb provided her with the anchor she needed to keep functioning despite the horror around her.

Each time another body was placed in front of her, she fought the urge to cry. Most of the casualties were children. After the sixth child, her tears were numbed by shock. After the twelfth, shock gave way to anger. Anger quickly gave way to an ice cold rage. Her hands flew across the body before her, the speed a by-product of her desire to kill the bastards who targeted toddlers and school children as a way to draw attention to their petty squabbles.

 _So long as I have breath in my body_ , she silently swore, _I will protect you_.

Any of these children could be hers. She thought of Wesley and this baby, and she knew she couldn't feel any less for the helpless bodies whose eyes silently pleaded with her to make it all better. In a way, every child was hers. It was her skill, her energy, her will that kept the little hearts beating. She poured her soul into each and every one.

 _I will move galaxies to keep you safe from harm_ , she vowed to her own child.

Her last surgery complete, and thoroughly spent, Beverly made her rounds through the hundreds of beds in the cargo bay. Despite her own exhaustion, she paused to offer words of comfort and encouragement to her patients and crew.

A junior lieutenant had recently delivered the news that the captain had succeeded in negotiating a cease fire and that the city's medical centres were able to start taking back their wounded.

She found herself sitting on an empty medical supply box with a bottle of water in her hand, and no idea how it got there. Taking a greedy swig, she sighed and took a moment to close her eyes.

 _This is what we do_ , she thought. _Your father and I, we take the troubles of the universe onto our shoulders so that innocent people can live in peace and safety. We've always done this for others, but now we're doing it for you._

 _You're the reason we'll keep on fighting when we've been knocked down. You're the reason we'll get up each morning ready to tackle whatever the universe throws our way. You're the reason we do the best damn job we can, and we love you with every fibre of our beings._

She awoke to the gentle shaking of her shoulder. Opening her eyes, she was greeted with the most intense hazel eyes she'd ever seen.

 _Green or blue?_ she thought again.

Smiling tiredly at Jean-Luc, she let him help her up. He looked almost as exhausted as she felt. Relying on the other's silent strength, they slowly made their way out of the cargo bay.

She loved the man at her side with a passion bordering on indescribable. She loved his calm, his strength, his support, his smell, his smile; his everything. She thought of the baby in her womb, their child, and she knew beyond a doubt that this moment was something special.

As they neared their quarters she thought, _You were conceived in love, and love will bring you into this world. I cannot predict the future, but I can tell you, with the certainty of a million universes, that you will be blessed._

The doors swooshed open, and they stepped into the sanctuary of their personal space. Turning to her soulmate she said, "Jean-Luc, there's something I've been meaning to tell you."


End file.
